30th of December

For the past week, Ive been trying to head off my old friends from Katherine wanting to come to my home for morning tea. Today I was unsuccessful and I'm glad I was. I had a great time and the initial angst of been a hospitality wench wore off pretty quickly once I confessed my ineptness. It was really quite funny because Ive been calling Simmone for the past week to whinge that all my usual techniques didn't appear to be working and they are still demanding that I arise to the occasion. She damn well laughed and said - good job! Insolent little pup that she is. So if you mob are reading this I had a really really lovely day and it did my spirit good. Luv yas.

HBM

Morning Walk

Ah, the world is beautiful after a walk. I found these two treasures on my walk, the stick reminded me of Ned Kelly. Pink and grey theme reminded me of mum who had our kitchen painted in that colour scheme and it looked really nice. Dear mum, bless you. You are close to me today. There is a bird singing right outside my window in the apricot tree that is about to ripen its fruit for us to eat. I pray for faith like a birds.

It is a boy!

Saw this sign on my way home from midnight Mass at 2am.... I smiled.

My Baby Sis 44

Happy Birthday sis, wish I was there luvin you up.

Torential Rain

At last a real drenching, we were singing at Gorman House at 9 & 11am to 1pm, but the rain was so heavy we left at 12. Just sitting here now with a cup of Chamomile Tea. Bells have been on my mind today. I get all pliable when I hear them sounding out from the cathederal with unrelenting force. Its not just the call to prayer, its because someone wants me. Like when someone who loves you calls your name from a distance melts you down. Like when God calls you for the first time.

Pic of our practice session.

Happy Birthday Mum - 75

Mum would have been celebrating her 75th birthday today if she was still here. So hard to believe its been 12 years since she left. You know, I used to think that once a person died you never got to find out anything new about them... well that idea is wrong. I am still finding out new stuff about my mother. I also thought that we would no longer interact with each other. How wrong was I. Mum and I had a very rugged relationship right up till she started getting obviously sick with the Alzheimer's, but as soon as I realised what was going on, the walls came tumbling down and she became my baby and no one could look after her the way I could. Simmone and dad felt the same way too, so she was over cared for if that was possible. Our community nurse who became my dear friend, often tells me she was scared to touch mum in case I came at her like a lion.... I must have been totally off my rocker. Its a real joy to me now that I am the one who does all the work in our relationship and I am understanding mum on a deeper level continually. My auntie Effie sent me this photo of mum as a teenager and I had never seen it before. So there are still surprises.

Im Blessed

The past few months, have been so blessed. Today Beedj presented me with a pair of Christmas shoes, similar to her own, she made. Everything is easy and good. Ive been spending more time with God and it pays off. I now know that listening has got me to this place, and that if you take notice of when things are easy, then that means they are supposed to be. If its hard then most times its not meant to be. The guys at work were cranky that we are moving out of their bay. They are such fun to be around and maybe that is why the move happened in the first place cos we were getting too loud... but I was touched by their reaction.... oonyoon!

This is Robin with an eye and a damn funky tie. Ill never forget the first time I saw him walk past my desk reading a book held at arms length. Its been said that he walks up stairs reading a book as well. Hes also a great humour artist.

Waxys Dargle

You know how you get to a certain age and you think you've done everything and there are not many surprises left? Well, last night I did a critical appraisal on my face... mmm I identified unauthorised hair growing on my top lip, in the distinct shape of a moustache. Off I went down to Woolies for the wax strips. Got home slapped it on and reefed it off. PAIN.... and blood and bloody fat lip as well. Got up this morning early to check to see if I had two black eyes and the jobs right so going to work in style now.

The Kelly Women

Went to see the Kelly Women's play. Really worth it. Live band. Good settings and a real tear jerker. I was struggling to sit in my chair when the men started pushing the women around. Just a bit too real for me. 7/10 only because I couldn't hear properly, due to my deaf ear.

Melbourne In A Day

This lovely young man sat next to me on the way home from Melbourne. He's a dancer with Tas Dance, a company who puts on dance and plays all over Australia. What really impressed about him is his thoughtfulness. When the hostess was giving out packs of pencils and colouring in books, he asked for one for his two year old niece. They are a very close family and his nan is crook at the moment so I said that I'd put some prayers up for him and his family.

Funny tho, when we were coming in to land he was clinging on to me like he was my baby. Well, it was a bit of a rugged landing.

Beedj's Funky Shoes

Malachie Sheppard

Excerpt from the NT News...

Katherine's Malachie Shepherd also got lucky, earning the Territory a rare silver double by finishing second in the under-17 48kg class.
Both fighters were allowed byes into the final, eventually running into esteemed opposition.
Despite neither able to win at the weekend, NT coach Boyd Scully dismissed the notion the achievements were less significant.
For shepherd, a 14-year-old fighting supremely more experienced rivals, the opportunity at a title shot took him by surprise. Scully said the Katherine fighter did the Black and Ocre proud.
"He saw out the fight, gave his all and showed the NT has got fight in it still," he said.

* * * *

Ive known Malachie since he was about 6. When he talks to you he melts your heart. I said to his No 1 supporter, Mandy (his mum, pictured here) the day I met him "your boy is very special theres something about him" Well, now he is proving it. Personally, I dont want anyone to hit him, but a boys got to do what a boys got to do...

3 in 1 and 1 in 3 - the strong and HOLY TRINITY

Three birds sitting on a fence.

Jen, me and the Holy Spirit.

Three Skippy's checkin me and Jen out. This was 1/3 of the way up mount Arawang early this morning. Not long after the pictures of Skippy I decided Id leave the summit till another day and turned to go down. I was walking along all blissed out about what God had prepared for me to see this morning when I rolled my left ankle and sprained my right knee. Jen couldn't make out what was going on, while I lay there whimpering. I did a few quick Bowen moves and after about 10 minutes was able to walk home. Still sore but still committed to climbing that mountain although, when I make a run for the summit I'm going to take someone with me in case I really hurt myself. What you doing in about 3 weeks time on Sunday morning at 6:30 Ori?

Sing Up

Canberra Celtic Choir are singing at a couple of nursing homes today. I'm now officially one of the seven tenors. I'm just hoping I can remember my part as its all a bit new for me. I also have to sing down an octave, which creates this wonderful vibration in my chest. I was to meet Audrey there for her birthday lunch at 11:30 and hour and a 1 and 1/4 hours later she turns up all flustered. I love this about Audrey. She doesn't sweat the small stuff. It took me the first 6 months of knowing her to work out what she was saying. She has a very strong Northern Ireland Brouge. I love listening to her. Must be the DNA arking up.

The residents at Mirranjarni were very appreciative of our singing, which was nice. I really enjoy going to nursing homes and singing.

Hanging of the Decos

Woke early and went for a walk around Mt Arawang, eyeing the bloody thing with a view to climbing it before I shift out of here. So many mountains, so little time...

The big news today is we hung our Christmas Decorations at work. Laugh, Beedj and James were the main hangers with Robin and myself providing strategic advise, like "James, put one foot on this chair with wheels and one foot on the other chair with wheels" then Robin starts saying things like "where's the feather duster?" Talk about tickling peoples fancy's followed. Robin shields his eyes modestly from Beedjs Gluteus Maximus. James was so fast I couldn't capture him even with the action setting on the camera.

So early night in - with sorting of more brochures and programs, while watching Better Homes and Gardens. Ah, its all peace love and harmony still......

Jennifer Mehaffey Rocks!!!!

And she Dahnced

Yoohoo! I danced for 2 hours yesterday at the work Christmas Party. I got up to dance by myself and someone felt sorry for me and got up too. Then the rest of the crew followed. Its been so long since I busted a move or two, instead of a knee or two. This morning I gingerly got out of bed and gently placed my feet on the floor. To my surprise, no pain, no swelling and I did a little soft shoe shuffle just to make sure everything was in order. I'm so so wrapped that now ...I can fling the disabled sticker out the window and start either, paying for parking or catching the bus like normal people do. Totally over the moon friends. I AM NORMAL again after 8 years... yes, that's right NORMAL!!!!! Now I await the smart arsed comments :)

Burning Eyes

The poem below is in response to the message this morning I received about my friend Debbies death today. My heart is heavy. We grew up in Katherine together and Ive known her all my life. About 5 years ago she consumed a contaminated Twiggy Stick from a supermarket in Katherine that was infected with deadly bacteria. Within 1/2 hour of eating it she knew something was terribly wrong. She drove herself to the hospital and lucky the doctors and nurses there knew how to save her life. She was put in to an induced coma and stayed that way for 6 weeks, while her legs, fingers and nose died on her body, resulting in amputation. She also lost the function of major organs, especially her kidneys. Her husband and young son (18months) went with her to QLD, but her 3 girls stayed behind in Katherine with Debs sister Donna, until they were reunited in Darwin for their mothers rehab.

Deb lost her husband to an able bodied woman. We talked about it and even though things were rough between them, I said I still saw a lot of love between them, to which she agreed. How gracious is she? That's just a small example of the beautiful person she is.

What is also amazing is that her sister, then developed breast cancer and was able to overcome that as well. Two very strong girls, who don't back down from a fight.

Deborah Lee Hickey RIP

I never had the guts for it - this country where we were born. Little blondy girl sitting proudly in daddys car.


I feel beautiful today, you said to me, as if it was an Epiphany. You glowed there in the gown of hope and love.


Only you ever noticed how my fingers curled like embryos unborn, and you loved them in a way, that only you could do.



A raging storm unfurled upon you. It couldn't stop you tho. That cutting rain and vicious light hounded you, till you crawled into your sheltered space..... to lay all wet and spent and raw. I bent and smelled your courage; so loved you all the more; in the way, that only I could do, till then I wasn't sure.



You always had the guts for it - the country where we were born. Ive torn myself away from it. You'll still have your grasp on it and never let it go; the country where we were born.

Ted Hughes on his first meeting with Assia Wevill

We didn't find her - she found us.

She sniffed us out.

She sat there

Slightly filthy with erotic mystery.

I saw the dreamer in her

Had fallen in love with me and she did not know it.

That moment the dreamer in me

Fell in love with her - and I soon knew it.

ANTS Rock

On my early walk this morning the ants were out being really industrious first up. This got me thinking about when I was a kid growing up in Katherine. I had a real thing for insects. Ants were the main one but I also used to do sting defying sorties on the wasp nests to remove the nest and take in under the house and dissect each capsule. The fascination with insects probably occurred when I found a wasps nest in a tree when I was three and touched it. I got bitten of course, twice on my arm. I yelled screamed and cried snot and tears flying, when mum came all she could see was two puncture marks that looked like a snake bite and must of asked me if it was a snake. I said yes, (I didn't know what it was), well that caused panic and mum had to get dad home from work to take me to the hospital. Dad asked me what colour the snake was and I said purple and black. Dad tourniquet my arm with rope and peg. Which was standard procedure in those days. Yes, it hurt very much. I don't remember much about the hospital but mum told me that they let me go after a few hours. When dad took me back home he asked me to show him where the snake was. I took him down the back yard and pointed to the wasp nest in the tree.

But how that all links to my childhood to the current realisation on my walk this morning, is that YELP is a noise in response to some kind of pain. May Diganbal recently contacted me about some stuff from childhood. (I have a skin name, Nungurri, and May is my mother) She said she remembered me loudly yelping at the boys to keep them away, who then took off. Well that got me thinking about how a number of people who have comeback into my life, from early childhood recently, are quick to point out how cruel I was. I admit I was smacky and weird, which stems from how I experienced the world at that point. Cruel? I beg to differ. Cruel for me is action that inflicts pain for no GOOD reason. Maybe I was too young to know what good meant, but I was the oldest and the biggest in our group in Dowling Street. We were 5 girls and one little boy. It was left up to me to protect them from all the boys in our street who way out numbered us girls in size as well. It was very physical with ropes, compasses, nails, and hammers and bikes (note fists, stones and sticks don't even get a mention, because that was the normal tools of pain) so I had to be on the ball. However, I guess that filtered down the line to some extent. Only May has understood the root of the issue for me. Being Indigenous and very intelligent she reflects the spiritual side with the word yelp. Balanda mob only reflect it back as the physical side with the word cruel. I am sorry they have that impression and for any harm Ive done.

Thank GOD, "its not where you start, but where you finish that counts" Ive always felt that I had to fight for my survival in Katherine, but that's another story................

Weight Watcher Christmas Cake

Going to give this a whirl, hopefully tomorrow.

At Woolies today there were mangoes from Katherine. Just had to buy 8 of them. Just had one and it was delicious. Not as tasty as the turpentine's growing in Walter Young Street, but not a bad substitute.

Oh, yes, and the tomato plant is having triplets. Cant wait! Fresh bread and butter with home grown tomatoes and cracked black pepper. mmmm..

Scringing

Yesterday I picked up a heap of flyer's and cards that I am cataloguing for this lady as part of my volunteer work. Man this is just one box of approximately 400 items and I'm pretty sure that there are probably 3 other boxes this size. I love the saying, "never under estimate a volunteers heart".

When I was a kid I thought I was adopted, the reason for this is that I used to be flogged (flogged as opposed to smacked)allot. So I think this fascination with scringing (that's what mum used to call it, when she caught me shuffling through her papers) began. Looking back this is bloody hilarious coz I look exactly like my dad except for he has a hooked nose.

Further update on the twins, they were born in Melbourne and were adopted together. At least they had this truth in their lives.

Blog is now private, it will be interesting to see if my style of writing changes now.

Lovely collection of lamps at Braidwood.

Freds Courage

Fred belongs to our meditation group and has Cancer. We do allot of God bothering together with his wife, mother, brother, sister in law and about 4 other ladies not related to Fred. I don't know that much about his life. At the group tonight, Fred told us that the disease has spread to his stomach but he's not giving up hope of a miracle. Fred, it was so hard sitting there hearing you say that mate. But how much harder for you to tell us? And then.... tell us that you would like us to sing at the Requiem Mass for the funeral. Ive been bottling up unspoken intersessions in my heart for the past couple of months Fred, and I am ashamed to say that I was too scared to say my blessing and thanks aloud for the gift of you and the special grace that you have brought to our group. So I just had to say them tonight, even though I was scared because, you mate, must be way more scared than me. I was scared because of these middle aged Catholic people, might think "how dare she" "she doesn't know us" and that stupid selfish thought and the suffocating feeling stopped me from sharing aloud that I care about you and that I pray for you and that I feel some of your pain and ask for your courage to grow and honour you. Week after week you faithfully come to our group, all through winter, no matter how you feel. You are there. You 'll probably never see this or know its written here, but from now on I promise to you, that you will hear me bless and thank you, until we go our separate ways. Even then Ill miss you and send up a prayer wrapped in your name. You've touched my life in a unique way. Dona Nobis Pacem!

Yvonnes Twins

At last we know the names of the twins adopted out at birth. Susan Ann and Phillip John (later Bruce John, born on the 06/08/1949. Yvonne was 21. As yet we don't have their surnames and Sue is hoping they will phone her at some stage. Wouldn't it be lovely if it were before Christmas? I started this search at the beginning of the year, but couldn't actually have any information because I was not a close enough relative.

Pic of Yvonne and Suzzane her second daughter, supplied by Effie Robinson.

St Joseph Cafasso

We are born to love, we live to love, and we will die to love still more. --Saint Joseph Cafasso

St John Bosco's offsider.

Airing Of The Quilts-Braidwood

Went to Braidwood early this morning with Doris. Its our annual pilgrimage. Doris captures every quilt within lens distance... She does the same with the tulips at Floriade. Love her stamina.

After walking around most of the day, I think I am going to be able to get rid of the disabled park sticker in January... yoohoo!!! On track.

This is a pic of me dreaming about my bikini Ill be wearing to the Tuggers pool next winter.

Hamish 10

1997, what a year. My lovely little nephew Hamish was born. I was so priveliged to be able to see his birth. Thanks Min and Mark. I can still see his head with the tight little curls, a perfect gift of love to us all. I was the first to hold him and bless him... my boy. I was so in love that it took many weeks for the pictures to stop playing in my head, not sure Im fully recoverd.

Jalbu's- luv yas

It was so so nice to see these beautiful faces. Thanks ladies for calling me up. Got all the goss from old K-town now. Laughing when Jalbu was styling up on the raffle couch at the Hellenic, not knowing that it was part of a raffle. Listening to all the words and sayings, I have not heard uttered down here except in my imagination. Ah, all peace love and harmony again...

Meditation

Since I have been moving around so much with work, the old self esteem has been a bit unpredictable, so in the last two weeks I have been putting in the effort to meditate on a daily basis. It works wonders. I find I am much quicker with my sense of humour and also peaceful about things that happen that could really upset the apple cart if I was anxious. For instance, when I woke up this morning, I heard the birds chattering and enjoying the new day. Then I turned on to my side and I couldn't hear a thing. I wondered does that mean that I'm totally deaf or what. Sat up and then could hear them again. Bugger it, I will worry about it later and then laid back down with the good ear up. ah, it all peace love and harmony!!!

My Lovely Boy

"Tell me what you need, and Ill tell you how you get by without it"

Ori - 2005

Im still strugglin to get by without him

Elizabeth-Golden Age

Ive seen this movie twice in 4 days. I'm on a hattrick now. Booked in with Serena for a screening some time soon. There is a bit of violence in it, I think. I just closed my eyes and put my fingers in my ears.

First time around the most powerful part was at the end when she was holding the baby. I was bawling. First of all, her words about God giving her courage to bear the mighty freedom of life with out a master and then to be her self fractured me. The shot of Marys looking up from the floor before her beheading was unusally sensual. The horse jumping over the side of the ship in slow motion was spectacular. 8/10

Second time around it was the agonising over killing her cousin and that she was performing the same act as her father had done on her mother... 8.5/10

Ill keep you posted for the third screening.

Setting Site to Private

Friends

After some consideration, I have decided to set my site to Private. So if you would like to still have access to the site, please contact me as I will be doing this shortly.

Please add your email address to comments and I will pick them up from there.

Beachworth Celtic Festival

Back home after a two day stint as a touring and recording artist. Gamin! Could sleep for a week. Our choir was absolutely on FIRE. 3 performances. We stayed at the old lunatic

asylum. It was comfortable, but the doors gave away its history. Made me think of all the pain and suffering that had gone on in this place as well as what had led the people to it in the first place.

These lovely lassie, kept me entertained with the springy steps and pony tails.

Kite

Yesterday on my way home I saw a red kite flying in the park. It made me smile. My heart was glad. Two men were playing with and I thought how nice to see people doing these simple but fun things, instead of looking at it on the net.

We had so much rain yesterday. Not sure how much but it was pretty solid.

This is a pic out of my lounge room window.

Hand Over

Jennifer went to the coast with Nanny, Poppy and Sophie. I took her bedding up stairs and when she comes back she will be a CRINC rather than a SCOTT. I bawled all the way to work and just kept my self busy all day. Im sookin just writing this. Shes been the best dog, Ive had, very intelligent and self sufficient and totally faithful. I know shes going to be loved totally and will probably have a bedroom of her own that's bigger than my apartment, which makes it easier in some ways.

Strawberry for Breaky

Good morning world!!!

I woke at 5:30am, laid in bed and listen to some music on my Ipod, which always sounds better first thing in the morning for some reason. Then I remembered my strawberry that could be ripe for the picking and outside I went. This is a pic of the taste sensation. There is something beautiful about food people grow themselves. Always taste better. Must be the love.

Hey, Jennifer Mahaffey, in Carrickfergus - Good Morning, Ive been thinking about you for the last week.

Family and Community Day 2007

ACT has a holiday now on Melbourne Cup Day. Carrissa and Jason invited us kids, Lorraine, Doris, Thomas, Kerry, Wayne and me to luncheon. Its really nice to have a mum and dad that are younger than you...
I had a really nice time and the food was great. Got to see my first apple on a tree and tried Chervil for the first time, not sure of the spelling but its a salad herb and has an aniseed flavour. YUMO!

Moo, I believe you know some of these people, even if they have dark glasses on!!!

Shes waving to you, girl.

Twin Strawberries

Look at these babies! If Jenny makes a move on them, shell be sailing close to the wind.

Wet Season

We've had rain for most of the day and I'm yearning for the Northern Territory smells and sounds of the wet season. Ill get over it soon, but in the meantime..

My favorite Indigenous Poem sums it up for me.

I feel with my body, with my blood.
Feeling all these trees, all this country.
When this wind blow you can feel it.
Same for country... you feel it.

You can look, but feeling... that make you.

Big Bill Neidjie, Gagudju Elder, Kakadu.

Sharing and Caring

I'm currently at the National Library of Australia. I went to the ladies and there was a bit of a line up, so started leaning against a hand basin. This dear old chook grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the hand basin and said watch out!!! Well, I couldn't see anything there.... mmm drugs, no - too old, seeing things, maybe.. she must have read my mind and said there's water there and started putting copious amount of paper on it to dry it up. I said at least the good thing is that it will eventually evaporate! Then she told me had just been watching a mother, watching he little son learning to crawl down stairs and said PRICELESS!! Isn't that so sweet, I nearly bawled. Yes, common theme lately - Ive let the hormones take the lead.

W.I.P

Work in Progress, painting number 1.

I had the day off work due to tummy bug, so sat down with the brushes and had a bit of a go in between trips. Still needs a lot more detail, which I will add shortly. Keep ya posted.

Love is all around

Jessy Scattini, a very talented 17 years old, has written some very deep peotry about her mother, who by the way is a mother of 6. I so love this family. What other 17 year old writes love poems for her mum?

Ive got permission to share it with you.


Mum, I wrote something for you.........

The Warmth

All around there's beauty.
I can see for miles.
An endless horizon, and I can feel the warmth.

The sky holds the star of life,
I shield my eyes from it's blaze.
A blanket so bright, and I can feel the warmth.

Beneath my feet the long grass it tickles,
So soft and yellow.
I run my hands through it as I walk, and I can feel the warmth.

The wind it blows over the land,
Like a thousand free spirits.
I lift my face to the breeze, and I can feel the warmth.

The hand in my own grips softly,
The grip of motherly love.
I squeeze my mother's hand, and I can feel the warmth.

Her arms they embrace me,
It is here I feel at home.
Because she loves me, I can feel the warmth.

****

Thanks Jessy Girl. love ness xxoo

Coincidences

Today two amazing things happened.

1. I couldn't find Radcliffes mate in the fish bowl and still haven't. Radcliffe has a supercilious smile on his lips. Then when I arrived at work I noticed the fish that always sits on my desk in a bowl, owned by Belinda had moved. On further inspection Belinda couldn't find her fish either. In the end she went on hands and knees looking for him (Cadbury) on the floor and found that he had taken his own life by flinging him self over the edge of the container he was in. It was a sad moment and to tell the truth, I was choking back the sobs, especially when Belinda wrapped him carefully in a tissue, while I sung a few notes of Amazing Grace. Shes taken him home for burial in the family plot. Gee I hope she remembers to take him out of her handbag....

2. I went to this AWESOME ladys house today to help with some IT stuff for a choir I am in. Ive been tossing up whether I should undertake more volunteering. After a while we started talking and realised she could do with some more help, so I offered to spend time volunteering for her as I cant really do committees and its the politics that I don't understand. I found it hard telling her the truth about how I see her situation because shes actually said previously to the choir that she wont be around for ever. To actually say that back to someone was really hard and I felt like bawling, especially since I hardly know her. Amazingly she sees it as a gift because I have assessed her situation correctly and her dream is to get her life time collection of music she has created in some sort of order before she either dies or goes senile. The coincidence in this is that she thinks Im the gift and I think shes the gift. I just know I will be stepping up to the next level with help of this talented and good person.

Thank you Father for all the things you have sent me recently and especially the gift of GRACE!

Rain Lovely Rain

Its been so nice having some humidity in the air and the rain has washed everything off and it looks all bright and shiny outside.

Jen returned from the coast today. Looks like Nanny and Poppy are exerting there rights as adopters. I kept looking at the door for her. Bloody sook.

Missed Mass this morning due to the daylight saving. I was really looking forward to hearing St Cecilias Choir and spending some quality time with my beautiful friend Sandy. Missed out on both.

Felting

Finally got my CD of the Monks of Kuer Moussa and its been worth the wait.

I dont know why, but I just went out to Craplight and brought 3 pieces of fabric, threatening to make a dress and two scarves. May be because I went to the felting workshop this morning on how to felt using a orbital sander, which now after seeing the demonstration , its the way to go. I must have got all inspired.

Displaying a piece of felting that has a real indigenous feel to it. Up the top it has like little logs that are inserted through one side and poke out the other. Pic doesnt really do it justice. Spoze you had to be there..

I kick myself for shopping at Craplight, but theres no other decent competition. The owner is a mean bitch with money and charity. She never has enough staff on so us mugs accept that and stand there for 10 minutes waiting to be served. Its so hard on the staff.