Big Day Out

Yesterday was huge. Due to bad weather we were late taking off which meant my I missed my connecting flight. Got lost in Sydney Airport for about 1/2 hour then I just surrendered and went to ask for someone to escort me to my next flight. I was on the verge of bawling when I went for help. The Qantus guy said sit over there and someone might come before your flight and help you. Well the blood pressure was about 250/500 with that remark. As I walked towards the one remaining chair with a bit of a dizzy happening, the lady who was trying to save it for her kid by putting a Coke bottle on it gave me daggers. I said to her too bad luv, I'm having a dizzy attack. She was all concern then. I'm such a drama queen these days I'm embarrassing myself. However Ive also found that if you ask for thing you nearly always get them. Up pops a gorgeous rosy cheeked you fella to escort me to the right terminal and I said to him I had visions of myself spending the rest of my natural life in the airport just like Tom Hanks did in his movie. This impressed him so much he decided to escort me to the right gate and right to a comfy seat. Bless him. So arrive in Canberra 3 hours late - no luggage. I suspected this might be a problem despite uncalled for assurance by Qantus it was all "suitcases to go". They turned up at 9pm which wasn't too bad really. Just happy I didn't have the 10kg of fish in it this time. oh yeah, and the bus driver from the airport took out two cones with the bus which made me on full alert for the rest of the trip, just for a bit of extra stimulation.

After all that excitement I went to bed curious of what dreams I would come up with in the morning. I woke up crying so loudly and tears all over my face and my solar plexus hurting from sobbing. I felt sad for most of the morning until I went to see Bright Star which made me cry hard again and that seemed to clear it. Id been dreaming about someone I love so very much dying and no one telling me. Then me finding out when they were all sitting around the table talking very blaze about the whole thing cos the chair was empty. Ive had a similar dream in September and not quite sure what it all means but I'm going to keep recording and hope that my unconscious mind will reveal whats actually troubling me.

So after all that, I decided to make over my veranda with vinca flowers (from my childhood)instead of edibles. Just trying to retrain myself from always focusing on things that are use full in a practical way rather that just beautiful, sentimental and soft to my senses. Actually, I'm going to update the soft furnishings inside too.

Scary

For the past few years I have been looking for a silver bell that is held between thumb and index finger for ringing. Dad has been on the look out for one in his travels but has not found anything. Today at Port McQuarie my brother - in - laws, sister - in- law asked me why I wanted one. Previously, I hadn't told anyone because I thought they wouldnt understand. But with my new found confidence I said this might sound weird but I want it to ring and put good vibrations in the air. You could have heard a pin drop but no one commented. Whew... Anyway, Ive decided I am going to commission one for myself.Some quotes from today in the car driving home." Its so hard being nice to people all the time"" I nearly had an anaphylactic reaction when you said you ordered me prawn cutlets instead of lamb cutlets""you're scary""$2.80 is a rip off for soda water""his wife calls him cave face" " I have two sets of parents, thats why I forgot my bathers and towel"

3rd Day Of Holidays

I'm wondering does it mean you are becoming an artist when you find little bits of paint in unusual places on your skin home and car? I started cleaning my black shoes today coz dad hates to see me in dirty shoes. I ended up with shoe polish on the clothes, in the sink and up my arm. Looking around to clean it up I noticed bits of white and red that Id been painting with today. I must be more disciplined and cover the surface I'm going to paint on and maybe limit it to the veranda, while the weather is good. Another thought - what will the theme for 2010 be? Its been creativity for the past two years, yeah I can just see you guys thinking "what about interpersonal skills" *smiles*

2nd Day - Holidays

Preparing for the trip to Taree, packing, unpacking and packing. What happened between 1991 and now, I don't know. Now I need to plan a week in advance. For instance, open the case and throw stuff in through the week that I might take. Prior to 1991 it was so easy, 1/2 hour before actually leaving Id stuff things in a bag and bolt out the door. Sure there were times when I did it hard like forgot the toiletries or the knickers but that didn't faze me then. Now I have to pack the mouth splint, floss and the toothbrush, 3 pairs of glasses, 2 pairs of orthotics, 3 charges. Man the last minute check list has turned in to a 10 minute short story..... Oh and I usally loose the phone, the keys and the money at least 3 times before I actually leave.

Still having a nice relax in the aircon tho.

1st Day Of Holidays

And I might say its been very relaxing and beneficial. At the gardens drawing then off to buy a new pair of sandals, get the feet attended to. I love having my feet look nice. And I finally have a solution for my 25 miniatures and its all going to be alright.

Spent some time with a few countrymen today and enjoyed every minute of it.

I'm on track for having a lovely day again tomorrow.

Kinkinya

Yesterday I had two singing gigs. The first was at Kinkinya in Lynham. Last year I cried while singing and then produced my first painting that went into an exhibition from that experience. This year I cried twice and really struggled to hold the carols together. I was not alone. I looked around and many other choristers also had tears in their eyes. I cried in away in a manger, cos the residence have no crib with their own families and silent night because these guys know what a silent day is like, and when the children sung and when a couple of old fellows joined in one singing, one dancing. It was tender crying a mixture of happiness and sadness and it felt like huge salt crystals jagged their way through my heart up and out my tear ducts. Ive been to many nursing homes and they have not affected me in this way and I get the feeling that this home has alot of love and care there. I might put my name down on the waiting list.

Reconciling

I had no idea my sister was morning my bareness until today. I thought I was the only one. She also morns my unmarriedness, I had no idea about any of that. Funny how you can be so close and not know. The words, "Ill never be an aunty, well not a real one or a bridesmaid" injected our relationship with the shot of something its needed for a long time. Mind you, technically she could be wrong on both counts, but that's neither here nor there for the sake of the story.

I do on occasion morn my childlessness but its getting easier as the years go on. Sometime I rejoice in it as well.

I don't morn my unmarriedness because I'm still hopeful that I will find someone to love who want only me the way I am.

The dramatics about the paintings are over. After speaking with Vincent all day, I think I might have been over reacting about the 25. The 25 only had gesso as the base not an acrylic like the stamps and that could be the problem. Ive still to test it but I'm pretty sure Vinnie's been a great help.

Disapointing Discovery

Ive been doing a series of postage stamps and wanted to present them in these little packets. However this morning I discovered that the sealer I have been using smudges the ink. I nearly bawled because I have used the same techniques for my series of 25. Its all character building stuff. And I am supposed to be writing my selection criteria instead of thinking of all the stuff ups Vincent must have had. No wonder he cut his ear off.

Kids at 25

I have now finished the pieces for the exhibition in march. Well just a few minor adjustments then the protective coating to be done. Its been a most exhausting Saturday as I basically painted all day and most the night. Enjoyed every minute of it. Now have another project about to begin. They will be in the shape of stamps. Hundertwasser has influenced me in his love of stamps and what they mean to him.

In 1990 Hundertwasser wrote: 'A stamp must experience its destiny. A true stamp must feel the tongue of its sender when its glue is licked. It must experience the dark inside of the letterbox. The stamp must bear the postmark, it must feel the Postman's hand - a stamp that has not been sent on a letter is not a stamp as it has never lived. It is a precious piece of art that reaches everybody as a present from afar. The stamp must bear witness to culture, beauty and human creativity. The most viable mark of national identity becomes the most effective way to convey the message of harmony'.

Gel Pens Picasa and Water Colours

Picasa is so much fun, it can take a dull peice of work and give it life. Im busy this weekend applying for the job Ive had for 18 months. Public Service, go figure....

Inspiration

Ive been struggling with the series of kids at play for the past couple of weeks, so I asked my unconscious mind to come up with some scenarios for me while I was asleep. I came up with 4 but can only remember three this morning, but will ask my mind what the 4th one is through the day and it should appear soon. After I paint these I only have 5 more activities to come up with. I love this technique and use it quite a bit. Especially when I cant find my phone.

Botanicals At 8am

Judy and I went painting at the botanicals this morning. It was so cool and full of nurturing energy. I think I will go again tomorrow morning early. I painted a few more kids for the exhibition and this is a sample of Judys work. She has just been accepted into ANUs Art School. Love her attitude.

Internatioinal Disabilities Day

To quote my nephew Hamish who introduced me to this band " These people are better at being friends than normal people because they dont push people away "

Love Tambo Girl. Whooo!!!

5 Skins - Hundertwasser

I'm still possessed by this man. Love the way its so simple and deep at the same time.

Favorite Shoes Ever

Ever had the feeling that something is not quite right? Well when I entered my car last Saturday there was a "definite" smell that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Well thats because I couldn't reach the offending stinker. I normally only use my car on the weekends because I walk during the week. So the previous weekend I went shopping and stocked up on the fruit and veg. Somehow a potatoe had escaped from the shopping bag and lodged itself under the drivers seat. When I opened the door, I thought to myself "smells like a dead cat around here". Driving out the underground car park the light and the smell really was hitting me hard so I stopped on the street to search. I looked in the usual spots, like the storage containers built in to the car, then on the back seat and then under the drivers seat where I spied something that looked like regurgitated mince, like a cat might make. I actually had to come up for breath at this point closing the door. I was stumped as to what kind of animal it really was. I'm thinking rat, ferret, blue tongue lizard and by the time my imagination was in full flight I decided to solve this mystery for good. Gloved my hand in a plastic bag that was loose in the back and in I went like a Cornish Miner. Yuckky!! it was all soft and warm and that's when I spotted the green shoots. I can tell you I was relieved to know it was vegetable matter.

Whats this got to do with the shoes?