Leighs Surprise Birthday

Ive been off line for the past week or so because I'm in Darwin for my friend Leighs surprise 40th and didn't trust my self to be able to hide the fact that I was going to Darwin for Leigh who is following my blog faithfully. Now it almost midnight and Ive just returned from the party and its been so emotional, I couldn't talk most of the time. She was surrounded by so much love and friendship and her 17 yo daughter took the lead in the most amazing way. Leighs impromture speech was great and in a nutshell she said she doesn't have anyone in her life that doesn't make her feel good. Such grace. I'm loving her more.
Leigh in red and some of her lovely family. The 4 littlies stayed at home.

Breast Cancer Day

Saw this awesome tattoo today on a lady I used to work with back in the 80s. From what she told be about the disease, I now understand why she needed to have this as a tattoo.

Three

Talking about the rule of thirds in photography today and walking home I found these two treasures. Luv three, love the Holy Trinity.

National Portrait Prize 2009 - Entry

I have entered this competition and encourage you guys to enter as well. Closes on the 9/11/2009. http://www.portrait.gov.au/site/nppp.php?step=1


This is the artist statement I attached to it.

Here my father Robert is cutting my toenails, which have become so thick with age no scissors can hack through them. What is so beautiful about this scene is this tough Northern Territory mans willingness to clip his daughter’s toenails. I love the expressions he pulls, the determination to get that nail off and the anklet of sand fly bites on my right foot. All that work results in the happy family portrait contrasting white Canberra feet against his suntanned Darwin feet while washing dries. I always laugh when I see this image and the word “Kerrigan’s” comes to mind.

4 Hours @ The Botanicals

Lok at these treasures. The ferns were in the glass house where it was very humid. To think I used to live like that.....

Internet

Cant wait until my energy levels return to normal and I can get back to resistance training.

Belly Dancing

Really enjoying my lessons and practice. Think I will be in the beginner class for at least 6 months and that's OK too. I'm not missing Fbook and glad the huge flow of emails has ceased and I get back to gentle journaling with blogger. Still have these cold symptoms but back to work Monday.

The Kids

Charleene, Basil and Ned

Ive got the rest of the week off with a cold, so put myself to work on the exhibition paintings. Ive decided I'm going to do a range of kids at play. All in the same colours and size. These paintings are small 4"x4". I did these two in 5 hours and enjoyed it very much, but exhausted now and going for a sleep. Note the little guys got his fingers crossed. That was an accidental inclusion but it adds so much. Love accidents in art they force me out of my comfort zone.

Direction

Is featuring heavily at the moment. Yesterday I went out to visit my Art Therapists new gallery in Nicholls. Is the oldest Catholic Church in Canberra built in 1847. Its cute and creaky and full of natural light. Its not been restored and what is so pleasing are the round corners on the whole structure from years and years of coats of paint. I like that look and it reminds me of my house in Walter Young Street. I took this sketch of my next painting for her to look at because I need to find some sort of direction in this art. Not just building my pattern and symbol dictionaries and journalling. It seems like I'm collecting collecting and not pulling it all together. Ive got my textiles, photography, haiku and painting all pulling at me and I don't want to let any of it fall away. Its like I'm stuck in the planning phase. Anyhow she has sorted me out by saying just let it come and what is currently giving you the most emotional satisfaction? Well its the haiku first that I do on the daily basis and then these little figures of kids. I think I will explore childhood play as it is a concern for the future that I have.

Truth

I have a number of religious friends who are so focused on "the truth" that there is no doubt about what they believe is the whole and only truth, the truth of the whole world past present and future. The Pope is infallible to some of them. I could never swallow that one. How this all ties into yesterdays story is that for me no one person will ever hold the whole truth. That each and every conceived human has some truth that only they hold. No matter how good or bad the person is, whether they are born alive or not, they have held some truth within their DNA and heart (I struggle with the idea of soul). I believe everyone has their own truth and it amalgamates with others truths to be a truth that only Godde creates owns and understands. I see a beautiful unique and fragile truth in Marie, she understands things I am unable to imagine.
This idea may change over time but for now thats where I am at. Thats the beauty of it, its fluid.

View from my window this morning.

Ahha Moment

Over the past 6 months Ive felt that I'm a hassle to people I try to keep relationships going with. I realized that I'm the one who always initiates catch ups. Yeah, I know some people are not good at that kind of thing and that it could be the menopause hormones making me feel that way. I'm currently leaning towards - I'm too intense and that those relationships were more valuable to me than them.. well they say the power of a relationship rests with the person who cares the least...

Also this past week Ive been pondering truth which I will blog about tomorrow as it also ties in to this ahha moment.

Today I went back to church at St Ninians mainly to drop off some brooches Id made for the fete they have in November. It was going to be a sort of parting gift. However I received a gift of insight, which was a total surprise. When I walked in everyone was all happy and smiling at me, nice to see you again and all that stuff. When we settled down I straight away noticed the flower arrangement which was huge and beautiful, full of perfect spring flowers. It was the base of the arrangement with three great leaves in the shape like the Mercedes Benz symbol. I got to thinking about what that shape means to me and come up with direction. Listening to the homily about where is Godde - what direction is your life taking - it dawned on me that something big was happening that I need to take notice of. So right through the ceremony I was focusing in on words and feelings and kept looking over at Marie who has downs syndrome. I don't see that syndrome as negative more of an unique gift. I realised I had missed her so much. She has such a light and love pouring effortlessly our of her. So once the ceremony was over and I handed over my jewels (gamin) I headed of to find the table where Marie normally sits and sure enough there it was, a table and one chair. This is how it was when I first started going to this church Marie sitting there all alone after church with a cuppa and a biscuit, no one talking to her. Marie was not out of church yet so I found another chair and waited for her to come and when she saw me she said I like you, then she recognised me and gave me the biggest longest and loveliest hug Ive had in a long long time. She totally abandoned herself to it. This is where the Ahhha kicked in. Then we got down to the business of drinks and I served her up a glass of water which she looked at with disapproval but I didn't know what she drank usually so she started to drink it after awhile. When her carer arrived we chatted and told her how much I had missed Marie and wondered if I could have her name and address so I could visit her. She was a bit cagey at first but then I started to tell her of my experience with Alzheimer's nursing she opened up. Apparently Marie has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently, so I have asked if I can come visit on the weekends and she gave me all the details and I'm looking forward to seeing Marie in her own environment. Everything is has been lined up. Yesterdays visual diary entry where I knew I was searching for something, the flower arrangement symbol, the homily, the focusing on Marie, her carer talking to me, and me wanting to tell someone who would understand these signs (my nephew Hamish who knows Marie) being the one to answer the phone when I called my sisters house, I have faith that this is the direction Godde wants me to take - for me to be an Angel for Marie...... I dont care how big headed that sounds, I just know its right. So now I will channel my care to Marie and not humbug people for catch ups so much.

PS: Just googled what the Mercedes symbol stands for "The Mercedes star is a symbol for dominion--dominion over the sky, earth and sea.... and the name Mercedes is a spanish girls name meaning grace.

Out My Window

I didn't sleep much last night due to a cold, I feel real floaty today. Last night I got to ponder two main things "Yeahno" and why do sheilas buy the highest heels then cover them over with pants so you can only see the tips of the toes and about 3cm of the heel. If any one can fill me in on this deep and meaningful stuff Id be grateful.

Dive: Jayne Fenton Keane

This is part of the transcript on Radio National about the Dolphins that were moved from SA marine land to QLD.

"Anyway, I didn't think much more of it and then I moved to Queensland, and then when I moved to the Gold Coast, I visited all the theme parks, as you do, Movie World, Sea World, Dream World. So I went to Sea World and I was going to the dolphin pond, and there were these dolphins on their sides, like half-dead goldfish. You know how they swim on the surface and you think 'oh', so I created a bit of a stir. I insisted that the trainers come, the dolphins were dying, and I got a little bit hysterical at the scene of the Sea World dolphin pond.
And the trainer…they came rushing over and then they said, 'Oh no, don't worry about that, that's the Marineland dolphins, they haven't stopped looking at the stars and the sky since they got here.' And I was, like, 'Oh, oh my God,' that's entering into consciousness that we're all taught from a very young age, that animals don't have this kind of creative consciousness, that they would star-gaze or anything like that"

You can down load it here
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/poetica/features/pod/poets/fenton.htm

This is the best find since the fox head dive video. Well apart from finding my neice at the airport and spending a few days at Floriade together.....

Surprises

I love surprises. Not much surprises me any more, however my friend Melanie text me today to say she is in town and did I want to get dinner. I was wrapped. But first since I had changed phones and didn't copy all my numbers over I had no idea who had text me but I agreed to dinner saying, I don't know who you are but I'm game. In the end it was just us two at dinner as her partner Denise was tired. I love having dinner with her because shes right into this totally random stuff, well like logic and reason stuff, that I don't get much exposure to. Her latest interest is the "Assent of Man" TV Episodes. Shes also becoming a mother using a sperm donor (shes gay) and starting a Bachelor of Science degree. She has really turned her life around in the most amazing way over the last two years. Changed cities and partners, got married and is now totally happy. I really noticed when I first saw her that she had a kind of softness in her eyes that I had never seen before. I'm so proud of her. I bawled twice during our dinner, once when she told me she asked her little nephew what colour he liked best and he said rainbow and the other time when she told me about the traits of the donor guy that she had chosen. I told her that I am coming to her graduation ceremony. Im not waiting to be asked.....

Treats

For the past 3 months I have changed my eating program. I'm eating as much live food as possible. I feel alot better with more energy, but that may be because I am doing resistance training at the gym. Sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do... and that's cut loose and have some treats. I cant trust myself with a full packet of these things and fortunately for me Michelle's Patisserie has it covered. They sell individually wrapped Mint Slices. I like this idea and think that Australia should follow the Asian countries the way they individually wrap things like treats. Especially now with the obesity epidemic in Australia.

Ancestors Chair

This lovely chair was purchased through money from my great aunt Carolines estate. Dad had been willed a certain amount and passed some of it on to Simmone and I. I wanted something that would remind me of handing over and passing down the generations on daily basis. Hence the chair. For me a chair is a holding and comforting space, not unlike the womb. The shape colour and texture just adds to this idea as well as the silver legs that support it. Silver=purity for me. When I come home from work now I drop everything I'm carrying and sit in this chair with my eyes closed. Its going to be my ritual for as long as my chair is available to me. Honoring the ancestors. I love reading drawing and playing my recorder in it and for some reason (Ill have to check the feng shui book) it seems to be in the right spot. My plan is to crochet a knee rug that will tye in the colours of my couch (beige) that I will drape on the chair and make some burgandy cushions for my couch to link them together.

Social Networking

Today I deactivated my Facebook site. Giving it a month to see what difference it makes to me. One thing I noticed when I pressed deactivate, was they put up photos of your listed friends and say they will miss you and give you an option of messaging them. I was socked to feel an emotional response (regret) to this because most of the all the friends they showed have not connected with me in the last 6 months. Then I realized this is the software talking not real people. Saw this definition below on urban dictionary and have to smile at the last guys comment....

Generally a website (ex: facebook, myspace) where people can add "friends", (generally people they may see once a day and never communicate with in person, or close friends they actually do associate with) and communicate with them through multiple ways such as leaving comments on posted pictures or blogs, or perhaps sending them a message they can read when they sign into the site at a later time.
Guy 1: I just joined a social networking site! It pwns!
Guy 2: Yeah right, social networking is the gayest thing to happen to Earth since reality tv.