Church Hopping

Today I went to the Anglicans, because I heard the priest is very good. When I got there I found she was on a months stress leave. Some nasty stuff had happened to her which included a "flasher". Morton, who was taking her place for today had a very good sermon. It referred to the book "The Go-between God". This idea really drew me in straight away.

"In moments of intense mutuality, the truth of that other being calls to the truth of myself. It comes to bring me out. It demands that I meet it in my own integrity." - John Taylor.

He also touches on the idea that seeing things is not just seeing, it an encounter, and what makes it an encounter is the Holy Spirit. I like it and I'm pondering it further.

I like this tiny and discreet church with the lovely textiles, gorgeous candles (real for once) and the piano in the corner played beautifully.

Gym

Im back at the gym and have been for the past 3 weeks. Im nearly jumping out of my skin with excess energy when I come home after a work out. Last night I rearranged my lounge room and everything just felt so light to lift.

My Camera

My faithful little camera is officially dead. I'm surprised at the unconcious level of irritation about that. I'm agitated and snitchity. It tells me that this is one of my gifts. At 18 I first owned a camera and won a best photo of the year in the Australian Photography magazine in the 80s, but it never occurred to me that this is something I was good at. Probably because it wasn't valued in the community. Simmone rang me a few months ago to tell me shes worked out what I should have been when I grew up. Curious I asked her what? She said a photographer, but I didn't believe her, but now her words are coming back to me tonight.

Lawnmowers

I owned this mower in Katherine that was given to me by Uncle Ted (only an uncle in name not in blood). Uncle Ted was in a wheelchair and this mower would only start if it was on a 45 degree angle, coz that's how he could start it from the wheelchair. I was mowing my lawn in Clough Court and only had to do a small strip when the petrol looked like it was going to run out, so I had a real good idea - in flight refueling. Well Id seen dad do it and I thought I could easily do that too. I'm gently pouring the petrol into the hole and wooops, I spilt some. Up in flames it went. I was so scared I ran inside and rang dad about what to do. He just said let it go or if you really want it, go and get a blanket and throw it on the top. I knew I wouldn't be able to find the blanket in time so I just watched out the front door at the flaming mower. My neighbour (Radar was his nickname,wonder why) opposite me was standing on his front lawn laughing. When the flames died down I went out to inspect the molten mass. Two wheels were the only survivors.

But prior to all that, when I was a teenager, dad used to get me out of bed on Sunday mornings by starting the mover right next to my bedroom louvers and point the exhaust so it would fill my room up with that horrible smoke and the noise got too much for me and Id get out of bed. Dad always told that story with pride.

Labyrinth Retreat

Today I went to Rachum (womb in Hebrew) for the Labyrinth Retreat. It was amazing because I walked it with the intention of doing just what my body wanted me to do. I had a blue scarf with me that Ive owned for about 5 years but never actually worn. Today that scarf made a ripper of a debut. During my walking and prayer ,which took over an hour, I held the scarf up to the wind and let it flutter and twist and turn. Its over a meter long and at times I wrapped it over my head. I busted moves I never thought Id do in front of strangers and it was so liberating. I was so tired after I had to have a sleep. I slept on a couch and put the scarf over my face, so people couldn't see me sleeping. When I woke up I went over to the composting toilet and was quite happily sitting there with the door open enjoying the sight of the green rolling hills, when another lady walked in. I said I'm just enjoying a blissful one right now... she back stepped and started laughing. Ah, it all good health self esteem building stuff.

As I was driving there my ancestors were on my mind. My convict grandmother Sarah (15) and son of a convict Abraham(21) had eloped to Yass (close to where the labyrinth is located) from Sydney and were married in the Yass church there in the mid 1800s. They then kept going west until they ended up on South Australia. It took them so long that dear little Sarah had a baby in the back of the dray on the journey with only an indigenous woman to help. She went on to have another 7 living children. Talk about tough. Sarah died in her 90s and Abraham in his 80s. My great uncle made a joke about them eloping. He said "what did Abraham say when the minister asked him will he take Sarah as his lawful wedded wife"? YASS!!! He always cracks himself up laughing at that one....

When I arrived at Rachum I asked who the traditional owners of the land were. No one knew but the lady who was taking the retreat was open about my question and then did a little ceremony to acknowledge them, which surprised me and made me respect her more. I'm going to find out for her.

Soul Actions

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. ~ Rumi

I have to say this is how I feel when I do engage my heart in what ever it is Im trying to say or do or think. I love that feeling. Its the feeling that makes life wonderous.

Here I am Crocheting a blanket for Hamish.

Story Retreat

Had a lovely quiet day at St Marks Theological Centre. A silent retreat around the idea of story. Lately Ive been pondering what I should do with my art. Im thinking now that I really enjoy telling a story in a series of images. This collage is made up of images from today. The priest, Susanna Pain has a lovely and lively sense of colour. When I walked into the chapel, I felt aaawww this is really really beautiful. My heart began to glow. The yellow drape with the autumn leaves strewn in front of the alter was adorable. At the end of the day some of us shared our stories. I made my story in pictures I drew and when I showed my picture of the first day I held Jesus's hand the only guy in the group, blerted out oh that is beautiful. Brave man...... Im feeling nourished.

Dads Birthday

Happy Birthday Best Dad. I like this picture of him enjoying a cleansing ale out on the crofts block when it was pouring down rain.

*************

Don't wear a garment of cloth made with two different kinds of thread. (Leviticus 19:19).

I found this fascinating quote from the bible recently. Ive never seen or heard of it before. It seems that its trying to teach the wisdom in keeping things pure the way they are created. For example, not breading different animals together (mule). It also says don't mix crops etc.

Some people I eat with get enthralled in my eating habits. Some of them just watch but a few actually ask why I eat all the meat first, then the vegetables all separately. Its because I like to taste the food the way it has been created in its pure form. Not all mixed up like a cement mixer.

Thou shalt not wear a garment that is woven of woollen and linen together. Deuteronomy 22:11

As I have said before I am upgrading my wardrobe to only natural fibres. They just feel nice against my skin and I feel totally at home in them. I have a few items left that I will find hard to part with that are man made fibres or a mix of natural and man made.

As a 60s kid, it was drilled into me about man made fibre clothing, crimpolene ,polyester, terylene and nylon which were the new wave fabrics. I was fed storys about how accidents could happen with just a spark and horrific stories of kids with clothing melted into their skins because they went too close to fire. I didn't see any of those traumatic things but I knew from the start these clothes were light and dried quickly, but felt terrible on my skin and my body smelt bad when I wore them. Not to mention the static electricity which is still a problem for me today.

So what I am trying to say is that there is wisdom in what these two biblical verses are saying that I am putting into practice now.

Navman

18 months ago I purchased a Navman. At first I was hesitant, but my sister said once you get it it will change your life. And it has. I no long have anxiety when I get in the car to drive somewhere new. I was forever getting lost before Navgirl. The reason I say Navgirl is because I have the voice set on the female voice because I cant stand blokes telling what to do.

The most interesting thing tho, is a couple of my girlfriends have been really stirred up about my suggestions for them to have one as well. I cant understand why this machine causes such passionate outbursts. Reasons are "it would annoy me" "I wont hear my music" and "my husband says we don't need it" I have to admit though that at first I disregarded it as another gadget, but the second person (Simmone) who recommended it to me convinced me on the spot. Is the best invention for my dyslexic head and I motor on into the sunlight with out a care in the world .. well maybe I look at the petrol gauge occasionally.... It prevents me from saying things like we're the Fakhari (F-Troup lingo)

Fears

Pondering the bee episode further.....

Its fears of germs that might kill. Our whole culture is focused on fear. I look around me and see many people are addicted to watching or reading crime for recreation. Three people I know that are behaving as if they are severely depressed have surrounded their lives with death, killing, mysteries, thrillers all negative stuff. Its made their worlds so small that they are not willing to do much more than the essentials outside the house. I don't have an answer to solve this problem on a cultural scale any time soon and at times I have fears too. I push through them and most times it works out fine and that sets the boundaries ever further away from being closed and alone. I dont let that negative stuff into my life. I reject the culture of death. Although I can accept and sit with death of a human in real life any time. Ive done it 4 times already and its an honour. A sign of maturity.

I believe Godde is Love and drives out fears that we hold in our hearts.

This ring above has this lovely verse engraved around it.

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. – So. 8:6

Dentist

Today was a total surprise to me. When I went to the dentist (Indian lady) she asked if I would like an injection. I said - no thanks. She said - don't you like them? I said - its just that I have always been forced to have one since the 1980s. It was just a small filling so it didn't hurt more then a minute really. On the way out I thanked her for letting me have a choice. I like that.

To the right is a picture of my favorite treats at the moment. They are from the middle east. Nougat, pistachio nuts and dried apricot. So far Ive not had many takers for them. Even chocolate is taking second place to them in my hierarchy of sweets.

At lunch with two friends at work yesterday, we sat out side in the sun. A bee was hanging around making a nuisance of its self. I wasn't worried at all but the other two ladies worked them selves up in to a frenzy. When the bee went an landed on a meal for a few seconds that lady said "that's it - I cant eat that now" I nearly laughed. Controlled myself to say " so you are telling me you cant eat that because the bee landed on it, when there are probably more germs on the fork you have been eating with?" Well everything went quiet...... Im known for my diplomacy... not! I do realize now tho that I have much lower standards of hygiene than alot of people, especially in Canberra. I just think that too much of a sterile environment is not healthy for the immune system.

Theresa Angert-Quilter, Priest.

Here is a photo of my new Angel. She came at a most unexpected time to help me to a new level. Godde sent me to her that day back in June 08 when I was so apathetic. If breathing wasn't automated then I would have died because I didn't have the energy to even breath. After I spoke to her that first day briefly I was immediately recharged and left her church with a spring in my step and a renewed love for life. I knew something big had happened but didn't know at that point she would be my 6th Angel. I am blessed to have 5 of my Angels still on this earth with me. This picture was at the dinner after her first Mass. I'm so proud of her.

Crotcheting

I love this gentle art. Its quite meditative, healing, comforting, warming. Ive completed a king sized (the pink one) in 1999 while studying remedial therapies in Bendigo. It took the whole year and I named it Healing Blanket, which is what happened during that time. I still use it on my bed in summer and I still love getting under it and letting the cares of this world float away.


The double bed (blue/purple one) was made for Laurens 16th birthday. She saw me making it through the year and admired it all the time. When I gave it to her she layed on my double bed and spread it out over herself and didn't want to come out.

Ive two others on the go at the moment and I will post a picture of the one I'm working on now in another post.

Trust

Art Therapy today was about trust. I have many issues with trust and to quote Aileen the concept of "pure trust". I was asked to draw what pure trust looked like for me. I did a scribble drawing and couldn't see anything. As I was running out of time I decided I would just colour certain parts in and see what happened. I had to trust that something would appear and it did. A gorgeous image of my mum and me (in the womb) sitting on a seat. Its oil crayons with a wash of water colour. I cried and loved it with all the tender hurts our relationship produced. This image is going to end up on a canvas pretty soon.

TOP E

My new space at work is very very nice. I have a great view from the window and sunlight reaches me in the afternoon. Ive had the fluros taken out from the above my desk and I'm a happy little Vegemite. So happy to come home at lunch and meditate using this site http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/ which I enjoy. Then after work I went to the work gym and did 30 minutes on the bike. Saw 4 old friends from ATSIC days there working out and I'm happy right now with those good endorphins roaming through my body. I know my self esteem is so much better when I do weights, so tomorrow I will start doing some of those as well.

I fell over at work today and hurt my shin. Ive had muscle twitches all day since then. I think when I have a shock or am tired that's what happens to my muscles. Nuthing like being on the ground and people wanting to help you up to remember the word humble.

View from my workstation.

Fileen Good Street

Yesterday I spent quite a few hours in the rain forest at the Botanical Gardens. As I descended being surrounded in green and bird noises a heap of tender hurts arose, tumbling from my eyes until that last tear was finally squeezed out of that small duct. Grieving for things that have gone.....

On my walk last night I saw this sign which is our access road and noticed that some one had changed the name from Eileen Good St, to Fieleen Good St. I immediately smirked and continued on down the road with feeling good in every step.

Shift To TOP E Block

Its our turn this weekend to shift over to the head office of the department. In someways I am sad to leave Homeworld, but on the other hand I will be walking 300 meters to work and that means I can come home for lunch. That means more time to do crocheting, eating more healthy and if I want mediation or nap time. I'm blissed and blessed. Life is good. My faith is strong and I love myself still.

My boss is a sign person too. I laughed when I saw this sign on the way out last night.

TED.COM

I love this site. There are so many good ideas here. This lecture below had me hooked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHwXlcHcTHc


Whats your best play story?