Jans last day.

I spyed autumn leaves out side my window this week. Two of them, gorgeous little peepers. I spyed hot cross buns in the supermarket, crazy commercialism. Ive spyed Loreena McKinnett on her DVD "Nights from the Alhambra" for the past 8 days and don't think Ill stop anytime soon.

And I played ladies with fingernail polish.

Its scorching outside, air con is pumping out the BTUs. I'm so thankful for the cool and peacefulness of my apartment. And I suspect, I might be falling in love - with Kim Scott. Ive been staying home and playing alone alot lately and really feeling very calm and solid in myself. The dishwasher sound is lulling me in to some kind of hypnotic state.

Last day for stories friends........ Doesn't have to be a novel.

Art Therapy 3

This is how I think people see me on the outside (right) and how I see myself on the inside (left).

This was very confronting and I couldnt actually start doing the inside, so Alieen said to do a scribble drawing. I started bawling when I finished it.

Im hopeing one day for the inside to be more like the outside.

Jenny and Kim

I wrote about Jenny, my first confirmed friend in a post awhile back. She was confirmed by my kindy teacher. These days you need to have friends confirmed in Facebook. I found Jenny on Facebook and we have been writing to each other since new year. We have had alot to catch up on and many tears to shed. This is a scribble drawing about us two when we were little. Probably not Jennys best profile shot but my hand around her waist and the crossed legs really does it for me. Jenny is on the left. She has this cute button nose and two gorgeous rings (skin creases) where her arms meets her shoulders. Ive always remembered those rings. And then there is Kerrie Pretty, who I was bridesmaid for 25 years ago, who I found on Facebook last night. We chatted today and she said she wants to come at Easter for a visit. Im feeling very luved up at the moment.

Babys Swaddling Cloth

On the weekend I found a beautiful piece of fine cotton at St Vinies. It has these gorgeous little flowers embroidered on it. Its so soft and pure, I decided I would buy it for my first little great niece or nephew. I'm gunna start gathering stuff for the little creeps now, so when they come they will have something that was purchased with them in mind, years in advance. I love intentions.

Outdoor Art Exhibition

I made the statement last year that I don't compete any more. However I am entering my Lyneham painting in the exhibition in February. Its not to compete and I really don't want to sell the painting, more of a I am here and putting my money where my mouth is. Last year I went and thought to myself, "I can do better than some of this stuff". I have no idea if there is a prize or not, I really don't care. Its about getting to a level, changing my mind set and encouraging others to enter along with me.

But laugh, when I went to buy the hanging material, the lady who served me was so blown away by the painting that she forgot to charge me and I got half way down the road and realized I had not paid. When I went back in she was standing there all dazed like. I said - you going to charge me or what? She just laughed and said "I am so caught up in your painting,you could be the next Picasso.... and I am the shop owner.... I was suitably chuffed.

Ive named it "A Mother Always" The words around the painting can be read Always A Mother or A Mother Always.

Art Therapy 2

This is how I drew my future. It was done in a couple of minutes. Interesting that I drew lines connecting my mouth to an ear and on the other side of the other head a line connecting to my ear.

Art Therapy 1

This embryo arrived through a scribble drawing. Within the same drawing some cell division became visble as well. I used water colour pencil for the first time and as soon as I touched the lines I had drawn, with water on my fingertip all this feeling came through onto the paper. I really really like this trancparency factor, like you can see the red blood and the blue blood that is essential for a healthy heart beating away softly and hopeful.

Thank You

To all my faithful readers. You guys really have been there for me. As a thank you for your time and energy, I would like to offer this challenge.

I'm going to give a way a prezzie of some things I have made to the person who writes to me at kvmscott@hotmail.com with the funniest scene from their life. Closing date 31/1/09. Please include your postal details so I can send it off.

St Ninians Poem

My sister wrote this about the pew episode recently


The Ninnies at St Ninian’s

The Tuggers two found their pew
Moaning groans of timber stress
Putting large bottom ladies to the test
Prayer time the tuggers two did stand
Hand to lift ones heavy rear ‘n’ soul
Became a nightmare for the old
Oh my God the Pew had moved
Now less room for the tugger two
The chap in front had new knees you see
And the snickering tuggers knew of thee
For Gods sake she on for young ‘n’ old
Laughter bursting uncontrolled
Out break rhythmic moaned their pew
Side saddle on god’s word she sat a few
Made the other sister laugh on que
Frowned faces couldn't’t understand
comic book moment had been canned
Fall of grace go them the tuggers two
For they are known as the snickering
Two ninnies at St Ninians back pew.

Banana

Found this most beautiful quote in an Art Therapy book for healing children. As well as an unattended banana on someone elses desk at work yesterday. Had a little chomp. Still haven't been found out yet.

Im Peacefull And Impulsive

My work mate left his banana unattended for too many hours today, so I decided to take a chunk out of it. Another guy dared me too. I couldnt resist. When he came back he smiled to himself then said I bet I know who did this. Im thinking oooh ooh.here goes... but no he blamed a guy who was sitting out in the corridor. *snickers*


Aileen, my art therapist came to visit and we talked about what I want do this year with my art. I told her I want to

1. Get rid of these nightmares (the reoccurring one especially, about how I am the only one to save the world from obliteration, but cant find the words to tell someone how it needs to be done) Ding! *thinks* and then knows for the first time what this about.

2. I want to sell my creations at the bus depot market this year so I feel validated about the quality of my work.

3. Share the art with others for their peacefulness and healing

She will come to my home every Tuesday and we will have an hours session.

I'm so looking forward to beginning and she has given me some pointers on how to tap in to the dreams, which I will try from now on.

Shes so compassionate, I'm sure we will be good friends.

1961

Reflecting on my mum and dad today. The people who gave me life out of their love. Love... we die with out it, we die for it. We are pilgrims looking for it. We are obsessive, compulsive and full of stamina in our search. But before all that action, was is and shall always be the restful trust in Goddes love. We just have to be called to know it personally.

Today I saw Angelique in the shopping centre before she was to start work at My size, which I have been visiting lately, mainly to see what clothes Angelique wears. She dresses so beautifully with lots of linen and natural fabrics. We have had a lot of in depth conversations about consumerism and life in general on her job. Shes been in Australia from Germany for 2 years. She has a very easy and calm energy about her. I also suspect she has a great sense of humour. She gave me a great start to my birthday. I called her over to have a coffee with me, which she politely refused saying she had to go to work. I told her it was my birthday today. That didn't swing her to stay, so off she went and I was tucking into my mud cake and coffee when after about 10 minutes she reappeared and asked to join me. I was so glad to see her. I told her it made my day and we sat and chatted about how Germans are very work focused and how she promised herself that she should take it easy now shes recovered from a serious illness. Shes very clever and and has a strong sense of fairness. I'm smiling now just remembering her words. I said to her you must have felt sorry for me when you come back to have a drink with me. And this response is what nailed it for me "No, I was thinking mainly of myself and then both of us" She asked for my phone number as she wants to have her own friends outside the family and really start to enjoy her life, not just working all the time. I am going to try to help her do that.

Then Esther arrived with prezzie of 3 strawberry plants complete with pot. In her car she had her journal for this year she wanted to show me, which included things about me that she appreciated and the time we have spent together over the past year doing stuff. I didn't know I had influenced her happiness and I was so touched I bawled like a baby.

List of gifts
4 meters of Raw Silk - Lauren
Recorder - Dad and Crofts
Strawberries and Pot and Lunch - Esther
Fresh organic stone fruit - Suzy
Fish candle and small journal book (above) plus my meal at La Scalas - Tess and Janice
Bunch of smelly pink flowers - Kim (me)

Phone calls/Texts/Visits
Crofts
Dad
Carmel
Suzy
Lindy
Sandy
Doris
Mary
Ness
Jack
Trace
Trish

I am so blessed to have so many people who love me and remember my day for me. Yes me, me, me, and me. Its the attention and care that mean the most to me. I luv you mob longtime.

An Indian Elders Writing

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are, I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive?

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain? I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes, with out cautioning us to be careful to be realistic or to remember the limitations of being a human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty, everyday and if you can source your life from its presence.

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done for the children? It doesn't interest me who you are or how you come to be here. I want to know if you can stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back?

It doesn't interest me what or where or with whom you've studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in empty moments.

These are the sorts of questions I want to ask everyone (especially leaders and educators) but so far dont have the courage.

2009

I saw the night in with McKennas and actually made it past 12. I think I will go to Mass at the Cathedral.

This year I am focusing on

• Prayer
• Meditation
• Art
• Recorder
• Music Notation
• Resistance Training (including resisting chocolate)

Last year was my creativity year and I'm feeling so well that Ive decided to specialize in art and music this year.

My dream is to visit my grandfathers grave in Echuca and play Danny Boy above him.

On the job, Id like to have better people skills and become a permanent APS6.