Remedial Specs

Im seeing red these days but turning a blind eye to a lot of stuff. I have to watch an hour a day TV in black and white with these glasses, so Ive pulled my series of F Troop out and do a bit of viewing before and after work. Its been fun and Im laughin on my way to work these days.

Monday I get my coloured lenses (purple/pink) that will cut glare out. Yeah, Ill look like a tripper, but at least it will stop me from tripping over so much.

Goodbye Beloved Aunt

Its almost a week now since Great Aunt Caroline went home to Godde. Ive done the usual thing and gotten angry immediately. Murf said "you must feel sad" and oddly enough I don't feel sad as such, just cold. Weird I know.

I'm flying out to her funeral in Booleroo Centre in S.A. tomorrow at 6am. Leaving the car at the airport over night and flying back at 6am Friday. Just to add a bit of excitement to the whole process I lost my cards (Drivers License, ATMS ect) yesterday. Need the License to hire the car don't I. Need the cards for proof of ID for the License don't I............................any way to cut a long story short the cards were waiting patiently for me at home on the bench while I cancelled them at work.

Ive spoken to the funeral director and he is going to let me see her, which is going to be wonderful just one last time to look on the face I love.

Ive prepared a little ceremony for her and as I read out the stuff below I will throw the little pink cards into her grave. oh and fling some holy water around as well. To do this im going to ask Theresa to hold my spiritual hand during this part.

Beloved Auntie Carrie

This is the last family event you and I will attend together. I call for many blessing upon you

Whos Heart is big enough to hold 6 generations safely

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Whos spirit lights my path

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Who respected the earth and nature

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Who behaved like a big sister with me

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Whos heart was tender and hopeful beating under your wedding gown

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Who practiced tough love gently and firmly

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Who gave me words for my feelings

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Who snuggled in bed with both my parents

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Who was so resourceful alone

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Who loved past feral

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Who supported us in caring for our mother

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Who Trusted me to guide you through the bush

Come Holy Dove, Cover with love

Your name is written in my heart and I will always remember you.

In the name of the Father Son and the Holy Spirit.

AMEN

Men I Can Look Up to

On my way home at lunchtime a Corporate Express Van swearved at me. As it went past, Mark stuck his head out and and gave me the forks fingers. It was so funny. No one has done that in Canberra to me since I first arrived over 4 years ago.

The picture here is of the men I actually look up to.

My Vision Statement

I had the most amazing dreams last night.

I dreamed that I saw a father carrying a 6 month old baby boy with piercing in the babies face, a sleeper in the nose and the mouth of the baby. studs in an eyebrow and ears. that was a bit disturbing

The other one was I woke up at 2:45am with mission statement for myself. “To love truly beyond the bounds of social and cultural rules, without fear”. On reflection this morning it might change to something smaller. But I am definitely on the way creating a banner to hang in my lounge room with my mission statement.

Title for this photo is WishnPuff.

Paul

I went for a hair cut yesterday with Paul. When us two get together we always talk about interesting things. Hes tall, dark and very handsome. Beautiful Beautiful big gentle hands.. So you are getting the picture. He started talking about his group of friends and said he was the youngest in the group at 26. Apparently there about 6 blokes all together in their group. He said this last catch up included a bit of biffo between two of the blokes who were drunk. But prior to that Paul had brought up (on that platform?) that by the time he is 30 he wants to have children. I'm sitting there listening to him give a run down of how he wants to achieve that. He told me he wants to be super healthy before he tries for a baby, give up smoking and drinking, eat well and exercise. He said he hadn't really discussed it with his girlfriend yet. I piped up at one stage and said it is so nice to hear a man talk about such things and especially a young man. I had tears in my eyes when I said that. Then I told him of a story I had heard years ago of an African tribes way of welcoming a person into and out of the world........ When the mother has the first thought of her child, she goes and sits under a tree until a unique song comes to her and she sings it. Then she starts to look for the father of the child and when she finds him she teaches him the song as they make love. Once the child is ready to be born the midwives already know the song so they can sing the child into the world. Then the community are taught the song and it is sung through the persons life at each key stage. The last time the unique song is sung is when the person is dying to give them comfort. It is never sung again after the death. I told Paul that its all about intentions and I can see that he has really good and noble intentions for his child already. He liked it.... and I like him.

Flueridden

Grotty Snotty Blotty that's how its been for the past three days. Even so there is beauty in the world. I found these gum nuts outside Woollies.

Its also been painful today because my great aunt who I adore is in hospital. I had real trouble being able to talk to her on the phone because part of the family think that one of her carers are trying to adopt great aunt as a grandmother so as they can have her money later. I think they are just paranoid and their money is God for them. They cant understand why anyone would want to care for my dear great aunt except for money. I feel sorry for them. I know why people want to care for her. Shes a beautiful beautiful person. More like an older sister to me. She said about our relationship last year "we are an odd couple, arn't we love?" how gorgeous. But whats got me stumped is when Ive rang all the other members of the family who are her legal guardians, no one can tell me why shes in hospital. And that's what shits me....

My Sister

Simmone (min) rang me yesterday to comment on my latest figures Ive been doing in water colour. She made me laugh so much with what she said. Id love to see you paint one of these figures, she said. Curiously I asked why. She said well, I imagine you with your hair up in a cute pony tail and a pink dress with little frilly socks on. I'm laughing right now just writing this, its so absurd. But shes given me an idea. I'm thinking of making an outfit for painting. Something medieval and I might go the cone and veil as well. Sir Lancelot can suffer in his jocks!!!!

South of the Berrimah Line

I finished my work last night. I had anxiety when I was putting the final words on in case I stuffed this last bit up and it would look crapsticks. Was tossing up putting Latin or an Ambigram there but decided I want people to see and understand the beautiful words "Come my Dove, cover me with love"

This morning I feel allot of issues have been dealt with during this process, a kind of release. Its been a good exercises and Ive learned a heap of techniques, practical and emotional, that I will continue to use in the future.

Emily Kame Kngwarreye

This old girl, IS, what they say, a genius. I went to the Exhibition thinking I would like the dot paintings without a doubt. While they were good and Id love to have every single one in my lounge room, it was the wavy line pictures (Yams) that I got the most out of. They did my head in. I felt like I was falling into them. They are huge. The most intimate thing tho, was looking at her work in the weeks before her death which showed the fading of colour and detail until the last painting was almost cream on white with very little detail. I bawled and began to love her at that point.

On another issue I saw my doctor in the fruit store while buying a Mango. She asked me when was I coming to see her.... I smiled - shes been so fantastic to me. Gave me her mobile phone when I first arrived here, to call if I couldnt get out of bed. Thats when the Arthritis was bad. She wanted to know about how I was coping with the Dyslexia dramas. She asked me to come soon so we can talk. How lucky am I? Im not just another "Case" to her. Im blessed.

Spring Pink

Today has been soft. Hence this gorgeous pink blossom outside Judy's house. I was there early this morning so she could write down the notes (first few bars) of the song I want to include on my peice for the exhibition. The name of the peice is going to be "South of the Berrimah Line". The Berrimah Line is known in the Northern Territory culture as demarcation point. The concept is that anything above this line (namely Darwin) will get the full attention of Canberra, the rest of the Territory could suffer in their jocks....... As I have now lived below the Berrimah Line and also in Canberra I think it suits the name of the piece because its a pictorial story of my life in both places so far.

Colour Purple

Ive just read an article on the Australian Catholics site. Its theme was Hope and Humour.

This a piece I particularly liked below.

God is winking at us throughout each day and it is a gleam-of-laughter wink, not a ‘nudge, nudge' wink. In Steven Spielberg's film, The Colour Purple, the poor slave girl played by Whoopi Goldberg is walking past a hill decked in beautiful purple wild flowers. ‘See that?' she says to her companion. ‘That's God making a pass at us.'

Peace

Today I was asked what PEACE meant to me. I came up with answer very quickly. I said its when all my needs are being met, especially love and there is a still feeling present.


I have had this feeling when

• My eyes focus on something and I cant tear them away unless someone/something interrupts


• Sitting alone in a church


• Saying the Rosary


• Laying my head on my darlings chest and hearing his heart beat


• At the end of a really busy day or night when you are so exhausted you cant talk properly


• Listening to beautiful words/music


• Looking into someones eyes who adores me


• Daydreaming


• I become conscious I am awake but have not opened my eyes


• I am dozing for an afternoon nap and the fan is blowing wind onto my skin


• I meditate


• Jenny and I had cuddles


• Hugging - those long standing up hugs that go on and on for over a minute and sometimes 1/2 hour

NT - Attention to detail

The following out of office reply was received by me today...

From: Mackie, Jenny [mailto:Jenny.Mackie@powerwater.com.au] Sent: Monday, 1 September 2008 5:21 PMTo: Scott, KimSubject: Out of Office AutoReply: bedridden [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]

I am on leave until Monday 8 Sept, Christine Evans has the key to the executive loo and the Retail smiley mobile.

I so laughed as it would be in appropriate to mention anything about toilets in Canberra.

Come My Dove

Yesterday at church I heard the most beautiful prayers of intersession. Far beyond anything else I have heard before. It included the usual stuff about life in community but also self esteem enhancing concepts. Entwined through all of that were the words "Come my dove, cover me with love". It was read by Theresa in the most hypnotising way, I didn't want it to stop. It felt like I was a baby again in a warm bath with mum pouring the warm water slowly over me. Which is confusing because it was meant to be a request to the Holy Spirit, I think.

PS. After refection the spirit did come and cover me with love. That's why I felt that way.