On my early walk this morning the ants were out being really industrious first up. This got me thinking about when I was a kid growing up in Katherine. I had a real thing for insects. Ants were the main one but I also used to do sting defying sorties on the wasp nests to remove the nest and take in under the house and dissect each capsule. The fascination with insects probably occurred when I found a wasps nest in a tree when I was three and touched it. I got bitten of course, twice on my arm. I yelled screamed and cried snot and tears flying, when mum came all she could see was two puncture marks that looked like a snake bite and must of asked me if it was a snake. I said yes, (I didn't know what it was), well that caused panic and mum had to get dad home from work to take me to the hospital. Dad asked me what colour the snake was and I said purple and black. Dad tourniquet my arm with rope and peg. Which was standard procedure in those days. Yes, it hurt very much. I don't remember much about the hospital but mum told me that they let me go after a few hours. When dad took me back home he asked me to show him where the snake was. I took him down the back yard and pointed to the wasp nest in the tree.
But how that all links to my childhood to the current realisation on my walk this morning, is that YELP is a noise in response to some kind of pain. May Diganbal recently contacted me about some stuff from childhood. (I have a skin name, Nungurri, and May is my mother) She said she remembered me loudly yelping at the boys to keep them away, who then took off. Well that got me thinking about how a number of people who have comeback into my life, from early childhood recently, are quick to point out how cruel I was. I admit I was smacky and weird, which stems from how I experienced the world at that point. Cruel? I beg to differ. Cruel for me is action that inflicts pain for no GOOD reason. Maybe I was too young to know what good meant, but I was the oldest and the biggest in our group in Dowling Street. We were 5 girls and one little boy. It was left up to me to protect them from all the boys in our street who way out numbered us girls in size as well. It was very physical with ropes, compasses, nails, and hammers and bikes (note fists, stones and sticks don't even get a mention, because that was the normal tools of pain) so I had to be on the ball. However, I guess that filtered down the line to some extent. Only May has understood the root of the issue for me. Being Indigenous and very intelligent she reflects the spiritual side with the word yelp. Balanda mob only reflect it back as the physical side with the word cruel. I am sorry they have that impression and for any harm Ive done.
Thank GOD, "its not where you start, but where you finish that counts" Ive always felt that I had to fight for my survival in Katherine, but that's another story................
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